What is delayed gratification?

Delayed gratification is the resistance to the temptation of an immediate pleasure in the hope of obtaining a valuable and long(er)-lasting reward in the long-term.

Our ability to delay or defer gratification doesn’t come naturally to everyone and is often a skill that needs to be developed - especially when it comes to money.

Why is it so hard?

Evolutionary psychology suggests that uncertainty about future rewards makes delaying gratification a challenge. This helped our ancestors when resources were unpredictable and taking advantage of opportunities as they occurred was key to survival - sometimes referred to as ‘caveman brain’¹.

I have to be honest though, I suspect it may be more about the dopamine hit for me…

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“Instant gratification is deeply rooted in human psychology. It is driven by the brain's reward system, where the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated [1-7] with pleasure and reward, reinforces behaviours that lead to satisfying outcomes.”² 

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Our brain is programmed for survival. It makes sense to me that my brain prefers me to experience pleasure rather than pain!

And for kids, as their brain develops - they will better be able to control their impulses but provided with no foundation (financial literacy) the two factors mentioned above (uncertainty of future reward and dopamine) combined, often lead to bad financial outcomes.

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“Instant gratification fuels consumerism, as people are more inclined to make impulsive purchases and seek short term pleasures, often at the expense of long-term financial stability.”¹

How can we help kids to develop the ability to delay gratification?

Children and young adults may have their brain development to blame for poor ability to delay gratification but the adults in charge around them have a key role to play in role-modelling, encouraging and at times enforcing delayed gratification to allow kids to develop the delayed gratification muscle.

Here are some strategies to consider developing yourself and encouraging kids to develop too: 

Mindfulness

Practice mindfulness to become more aware of impulsive urges and learn to pause before acting on them. When it comes to money this can be as simple as ‘checking in’ before you buy something unplanned - questions such as “is this a need or a want?”, “do I have the budget available to buy this?”, “will I regret buying this instead of waiting to buy something I’ve been planning and saving for?”. Ask kids the same questions before they head out to spend all their pocket money!

Goal Setting

Set clear, long-term goals and break them down into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate milestones along the way to reinforce delayed gratification. This is especially helpful for large purchases such as a car or a holiday when it is very tempting to utilise debt. While it is sometimes unavoidable, learning to compromise, wait and save will pay off in the long run. For kids there’s always something they want that costs more than you want to pay - brand trainers / clothing - lego sets, outings. Insisting they save up for these things also helps them to understand the cost of things.

Shopping Detox

Limit time online window shopping. Unsubscribe from retail companies to reduce the barrage of tempting offers. Remember, a sale on something you didn’t plan to buy and don’t need is not a saving.

Financial Planning

Create a budget and savings plan to curb impulsive spending and work towards financial stability. It’s never too early for kids to learn how to budget and save their pocket money / monetary gifts / part-time job pay. The 50/30/20 works well for this - 50% for needs (great to get teens to start contributing to things such as phone costs and eating out), 30% for wants, 20% savings. 

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Sources:‍

1. https://www.newtraderu.com/2023/09/27/how-your-caveman-brain-creates-your-bad-habits/

2. https://www.omicsonline.org/open-access/the-temptation-of-instant-gratification-a-doubleedged-sword-126568/